A Depth Of Naive
by Dramabahn
Summary: Tigerclaw x Bluestar. There love is a twisted one, with no room for warmth and loyalty. Angst!


**A Depth Of Naive**

Author's Notes: Another angsty fic. This one is very, very dark and angsty. Much more so then Redemption. It is the fic I promised about Bluestar x Tigerclaw, and I tried to make it as suspenseful and twisted as I could. Music to listen to while reading? Carnival Of Rust - Poets Of The Fall. Ah, and by the way, it is titled "A Depth Of Naive" because they are naive to each-other secrets, but at the same time are acutely aware of them.

She knows she shouldn't. She's sure he knows they shouldn't. She knows no good can come of it; but that in itself in a lie. No good will come in the end, and she knows if they are discovered that it will not have been worth it. But now, now she feels good of it.

Because she has been alone to suffer in the dark shadow of her own twisted heart and soul. Despite the dark affection they share, she feels as if something is missing. As if despite the loneliness leaving, despite the empty space being filled with something, it is all but suffocating. The twisted heart will not regain it's shape, there is no healing, nothing is forever, and she is scared it will be taken away.

These thoughts exist only in the contemplation of her night thoughts and dreams. When she awakes, and finds him there, they melt away like the darkness of night. His handsome, dark tabby pelt, familiar scars and muscular form. He is no greater or poorer then Oakheart, but he is different, very different. The love she shares with the warrior is not tender and open, but desperately loving and secretive. Not only secretive to those who would condemn them for it, but from themselves. He knows not her secrets, and she not his. They only share their own secret passion, and that is enough.

Tigerclaw and Bluestar are in a sense, perfection. She is noble and wise, he is strong and courageous. They choose to ignore the imperfections which are invisible to everyone around them. She, alone, twisted and hiding from the scars and guilt of past mistakes. He, dark and violent, a lust for power greater then lust for her. They silently understand that if they acknowledged their own true selves behind their masks that they would fall apart. Their words would crumble, and each would succumb to the ugly fates they may await them.

That had been the silent agreement, until it was broken.

She had, somewhere in her heart known perhaps it would happen evntually, just as he perhaps, had known that she was held by only a thread. He had been born knowing that he was powerful, had been bred with the knowledge that he could do great things. He had allowed himself to believe he deserved greatness, and hungered for the power over others that he felt when pinning an enemy down. He wanted the same power he controlled over his enemies on the front-line-- He wanted it on his Clanmates.

He should have realized it was wrong, but he wanted it so badly. And, unwittingly, he slowly convinced himself that it was rightfully his. That a leader's power, as a fighter's power, had to be ruthlessly taken and pinned before it escaped. He was powerful in strength, agile on the hunt, and cunning in his schemes.

But despite all his quickness and cunning he had not planned upon this love. He almost wanted to tell her that he had not planned it this way-- that he had truly loved her. That he had struggled with the pain and sacrifice of destroying her shield. He had wanted to tell her of the betrayal he felt every time he was not made deputy. There was no reason he shouldn't have been. He was blind to her true reasoning- she was fearful of getting too close to him. She was scared of being discovered, and loosing love again.

So he had struck her down like a common enemy. When he had entered her quarters he had almost regretted what was going on. Betraying his Clan, and her. He realized he could pretend it was not him, cover it up. It was still not too late.

But when he turned amber eyes to her blue ones, he saw weakness there. She wanted to cling to him, she was fragile and older then he had ever seen, and he was disgusted, he didn't want to see that.

"You... you should be out fighting, helping our Clan mates, not in here with me!" Bluestar hissed, "What's going on out there Tigerclaw?"

The larger tom unsheathed his claws, and he watched as fear and anger clouded his leader's sapphire eyes. He stepped forward, and tried to search her eyes for some inkling of understanding, some forgiveness of what he was about to do, just another silent message. She blinked, and a strength entered her again, but her eyes were still angry-- and sad. He knew she understood, but for some reason she asked. "Tigerclaw, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, I promise ThunderClan will prosper under my leadership." For a second he was sorry, and then he lunged. And all at once the feeling of power came back to him, and he was lost in a frenzy of desperation. His mask abandoned, he clawed at her own, unknowing the hellish outcome she had already forethought.


End file.
